Kate Welsh
Kate Welsh is a poet living in Brooklyn, NY. She holds a BA from Barnard College and an MFA from Warren Wilson College, where she was the Rona Jaffe Graduate Fellow in 2021.
Littlenecks
Summer again and I’m here without him
for the first time, alone as I often felt when with—
This time, though, truly on my own: the beach house’s
double bed is all mine, there is no asking him to help
with dishes, no discussion about how late I can keep
the reading light on, no paddle ball partner,
no one who’ll split a giant ice cream cone, no one
to kiss while watching pink sunsets from the roof.
Tonight my friend brings back dozens of clams and asks
me to cook them like I did last summer. I set a hot pan
simmering with white wine and garlic, curls of lemon peel,
squares of salted butter. We listen for the shells to open,
pour them over fettuccine, top it all with parsley
and toasted breadcrumbs. The platter like a Dutch still life,
overheaped and gleaming. I place it on the table
to applause, flush with an embarrassed pride,
my friends so sweet and also, I worry, pitying me,
the air thick with salt and memory. I tear my own bread;
I pour my own wine. I remember there’s no reason
to turn to him, to make sure he has everything
he needs. A chipped crystal bowl fills and fills
with empty clacking shells. More bread is passed;
More butter. Everyone’s eyes turn glorious with moonrise
and sharp white wine. I have only my own long hand
to reach for. Tonight I decide to think it’s beautiful.
A cheerful din surrounds me. Someone asks me
if I’m hungry still, if I’m ready now for more.
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Image by Rachel Claire from Pexels
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