Catherine Kelley
Catherine Kelley is an English teacher from Southern Califronia who has stories published in Everyday Fiction, 805, The Frogmore Papers, East of the Web, The Blood Pudding, and The Bookends Review. She practices Zen meditation, hoping it will someday help her forgive the people who dump garbage on her street.
The Appointment
Everyone at school thinks I have a condition but you’ll see how healthy I am when you take my blood it’s pure and full of vitamins from all the fruits and vegetables I eat broccoli’s my favorite it’s high in calcium and a cup of it has five grams of protein but only thirty calories with no fat I steam it for seven minutes so it’s crisp tender and chew every mouthful fifty times so I get all the vitamins I also drink a lot of carrot juice eight ounces in the morning and eight ounces in the evening that’s ninety-six calories times two and a total of thirty-six milligrams of beta carotene and four grams of protein I sometimes mix it with cucumber juice which has no calories or even negative calories if I drink it while I do knee bends or leg lifts no it’s not hard I just hold the glass in one hand and try not to spill I think my mom needs to drink more fresh juice when I asked her after school one day what she’d had for lunch she said yogurt and a toast I scolded her for that of course proper food combining is very important you should never mix carbohydrates with proteins or vegetables with fruit or sweet fruits with tart fruits since they don’t digest well together they’re just going to rot in your stomach I told her now I make all of our meals I make vegetable soups and lots of colorful salads with green leaf lettuce and butter lettuce and spinach and alfalfa sprouts and spinach and peppers and beets and carrots and parsnips and cauliflower and tomato and summer squash and winter squash and broccoli and jicama I know it’s spring in Southern California I’m wearing it because I always wear sweaters and I like sweaters and besides vegetables have a cooling effect on the body eating meat creates a lot of heat and makes people angry and aggressive and that’s why there are wars no and no I’m not looking for anyone I’m just wondering about my mom she’s in the waiting room right? I just like to make sure she’s okay she worries a lot like this morning when she had this kind of weird and sad expression on her face and she kept telling me the doctors and nurses would take good care of me but there’s only you anyway and honestly I came to this appointment to make her feel better yes we’re very close more like best friends than mother and daughter we even dress the same sometimes and she does my hair and I do hers two people couldn’t be closer unless they were Siamese twins no I’m not nervous I bounce my knee up and down a lot because I have tons of energy that’s what fruits and vegetables do for you I mean I have so much energy I can hardly stay asleep at night I just walk around the house for hours up and down the hallway and around and around and around my room and sometimes I go outside and count the stars I count and count and count but I lose track and then I have to start over there are just too many of them so I go back inside and walk up and down the hallway again which is kind of boring I guess but it’s better than sleeping since I have really crazy dreams like the bathroom’s flooded and I almost drown or I’m flying around and around and I can’t stop or a man is chasing me with an axe of course not! I don’t have time to date I have to study and take care of things at home and guys are really stupid and gross anyways I mean all they talk about is cars and basketball and can you imagine a guy taking me out to some fast-food place and me having to watch him pick at chicken bones and stuff greasy fries into his mouth hey where’s the nurse my mom said it was okay to miss school but I can’t stay here all day I have to study we have so many tests yes I’m fine in fact I feel great you sound like my mom I’m completely fine why wouldn’t I be fine?
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